When I am cut down and harvested for planks and burls, and someone counts my rings, they’ll see a rich, dark ring circa March 2018 through September 2019. Those 17-18 months were potent. March 11, 2018 I broke up with my girlfriend, and launched into a period of personal growth.

I moved out and sold our couch. I buckled down and saved money. I fostered friendships, new and old; but I really turned inward, did the hard work, tackled some things in me that badly needed some tackling. I let myself date many women casually, possibly even callously. I created things, I read books, I walked and walked and walked.

It was a wilderness.

And I really feel that period of time and that work I did allowed me to be ready to receive a new adventure, when I went up to visit Chelsea in September 2019.
I’ve been pondering (think, think, think) that time, it’s been on my mind. Not because I want to go back to that specific set of conditions, no, but I think because I’m in need of another growth spurt.

38 feels fat and slow, 38 feels wallowed, plateaued. I see that I need another year of growth. I need to dig deep, turn inward and meet myself again, I need to create more friendships while enjoying the deep ones.

Now I understand why my thoughts have been out to lunch with other parts of me. Those parts, those eras, have been calling for a confrontation.