I mean, at the time of writing it’s only Wednesday night, but we all know Wednesday ends after dinner. Every weekday, or school night, ends after dinner. Fridays are different; you might get another hour. Saturdays, it depends how old you are.

I eavesdropped the other day on a comment-thread about someone thinking they had done or said something to offend a friend who was recently pregnant or had given birth; the other day, too, it was suggested that my wife and I might have time to Zoom with a financial advisor after she’s done with work, between 4 or 7. I laughed. I’m sure when I was single and childless I had no real idea of the requirements and constraints of parenthood. I knew and I didn’t know. What I mean is, I think I was graceful about it–I didn’t think our friendship was over if they didn’t respond to a text, I welcomed them to the party early so their kids could get to bed on time–but I had no idea.

I tried to make plans with a friend who is in town, and when she asked what days are good I said: “any day, between 8 and 3, if you are okay if my 18-month-old tags along, and you have to be okay with abandoning our plans if she is in a foul mood or if its cold or if you are expecting to sit in one place for over 15 minutes, OR after 8PM, but you have to come to my house, and I will load the dishwasher while we talk and may have to interrupt to go put the baby back to sleep. But quite flexible beyond that.”

How do my single and childless friends think of my friendship now?

This last week we had a family friend and her two-year-old staying with us, and it was so nice to have a third parent around. It helps to know and see that other people are in this, too.